USM Tribute
I grew up HUGELY externally focused; my mother was exacting and unforgiving. So from an early age, when I was present enough to contemplate my impending actions, I naturally vetted everything I did from the viewpoint of how my mother would perceive what I was attempting. Sometimes, I chose correctly, and, in the vast sea of “not good enough,” there were exhilarating instances of praise, if short-lived. As I grew older, I transferred that power over me to others: my younger sister, peers, dates, my wife, and even my daughter at times. This adaptation led to external approval, which then translated into a sense of enhanced self-worth. Unfortunately, this was not feeling worthy of my true self, but my adaptations, my false self. I have not thoroughly examined my external referencing origins, but it was undoubtedly instilled by my mother’s Germanic, Roman Catholic, narcissistic, and Scorpio parenting style! It was not until I attended the University of Santa Monica (USM) to obtain my master’s of Spiritual Psychology in my early 50s that I learned to honor and celebrate my true self. To allow my heart to be my cheerleader, guide, and champion, what a concept! While I do receive accolades now for my therapy sessions, writings, and even projects around the house, they no longer are the end-all, be-all. Each one is appreciated and heartening, but I accept praise and Love from me in even greater abundance. In mid-July, after my birthday, this culminated in the most glorious recognition I have yet